Ruminations, Aaron Karo style

Aaron Karo (if you don't know, tell me, and we'll remedy that) asked for submissions so you could ruminate on his up and coming website. Here are my samples. I submitted 3 out of these 4 (had to be 100 words or less):

I saw 2 bearded ladies this past week. I don't think I'd ever seen a bearded lady in the wild before, and here they were wearin' it as if it were the latest trend in fashion. Granted, the first was definitely homeless and there was probably not much she could do about said beard. She had a long goatee and was also sporting a sweet moustache. The other one I saw was seemingly a ‘normal’ tourist. Her's was more of a full-on beard - dark, bushy. I couldn’t decide whether to give her a razor or ask for her number.

I read about a cat in a nursing home that foretells death. I don't know about you, but I'd hate to be living in this nursing home. "Get away from me death cat!!!"
I mean, it doesn't surprise me as animals are the best things in the world and their senses are more in-tune. HOWEVER, I would not want an angel of death cat wandering around as I lay dying. I'd prefer a dog. Cause you know that about an hour after you died that cat will be all up on you trying to eat your face.

I like when co-workers call me while working through something they don’t need me to solve in order to figure out the solution. Somehow I’m connected to said issue and I’m called. I listen as they attempt to fix their problem. They mumble in my ear and I say "uh huh" until they finally reach a conclusion, and say, "Ok. That's better. Thanks Sarah" and I say, "No problem." And I, knowing full well I've done absolutely nothing, hang up the phone with no clue as to what just happened. But hey! Apparently it's fixed! So, uh, well done me!

I'm too nice. While in line for the restroom recently, someone came out and said, "I'm sorry, were you waiting long?" I said something like, "Oh no, just got here, no problem." What I wanted to say was, “I've been waiting 10 minutes for you to finish your epic work poop, thanks a lot, dick! Now I have to pee in a bathroom that smells like the trashcan at taco bell. Oh, and since waiting for you, my bladder has been stretched to immeasurable size. No doubt resulting in my wearing depends at the ripe old age of 32.”