I like when people call me (people from my place of employment) to work through something they are working on and they don't really need me in order to figure out the answer or solution at all, but I'm somehow connected to said issue and they think I need to know what they are doing or something and thus they call me. So I listen, on the phone, as they fix whatever it is they can, and I say "uh huh" and "mm hmmm" and they mumble and mumble in my ear until they finally reach a conclusion they like, and say, "Ok. Ok. That's better. Thanks Sarah" and I say, "No problem" or "You're welcome." And I, knowing full well I've done absolutely nothing, hang up the phone with no clue as to what just happened. But hey! Apparently it's fixed!
Showing posts with label office. Show all posts
Showing posts with label office. Show all posts
Monday, September 17, 2007
Office Query
I like when people call me (people from my place of employment) to work through something they are working on and they don't really need me in order to figure out the answer or solution at all, but I'm somehow connected to said issue and they think I need to know what they are doing or something and thus they call me. So I listen, on the phone, as they fix whatever it is they can, and I say "uh huh" and "mm hmmm" and they mumble and mumble in my ear until they finally reach a conclusion they like, and say, "Ok. Ok. That's better. Thanks Sarah" and I say, "No problem" or "You're welcome." And I, knowing full well I've done absolutely nothing, hang up the phone with no clue as to what just happened. But hey! Apparently it's fixed!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
The Office - Episode #3 - Bathroom Etiquette Guest Starring Ivana VonVana
And now, a guest spot, which will be going to my good friend Ivana (names are changed to protect my friends from mass murderers scanning the internet for easy targets) :
*names have been changed to protect the unhygenic.
I must also add my own two cents about a phenomena my best friend A. and I like to call, "the work poop." I, being raised a lady and taught not to discuss bodily functions once past the age of five, initially balked at this idea as the whole thing seems incredibly awkward and I try to avoid doing #2 at work at all costs lest someone walk in - the whole thing just weirds me out. I like to use the bathroom in private. HOWEVER, he pointed out such a valid point I forced to concede and now embrace the idea with open arms. The other day he told me he had made approximately $5.00 while pooping at work. WOW! I said. That's amazing! And he was quick to point out that where else on earth can one get paid for pooping?!?! It's the greatest thing ever, and he feels no need to hurry up and get back to his desk, because he is afforded this right to poop at work, and no one will take it away from him damnit! So my position has changed and I say, "Yes! Please, pay me to poop! I can use the time spent in the loo to calculate exactly how much I make a day excreting waste at work!!"
Miss Sugah, please write a blog re: office bathroom ettiquite.
for example, why is it that everytime i open a stall, there is approx 1 gallon of urine on the seat? this is NOT, contrary to popular belief, a texaco station. there is absolutely no reason a woman should walk in there and start peeing on everything. you work in this establishment and being that you are here for 8+ hours, I'd venture to guess you will frequent that same stall you desecrated at least one more time today. perhaps it is comforting to return and see your urine mixed in with those of your co-workers? the kind of thing upper management would call a team-building experience, no?
also... you had better believe i SEE you walk out of the stall and not wash your hands, Sue*. oh, and i also see you reach your urine-soaked fingers into the m&m bowl during Sally's* make-your-own-ice-cream-sundae birthday celebration in the conference room. that is NOT team-building. that is team germ-spreading.
I must also add my own two cents about a phenomena my best friend A. and I like to call, "the work poop." I, being raised a lady and taught not to discuss bodily functions once past the age of five, initially balked at this idea as the whole thing seems incredibly awkward and I try to avoid doing #2 at work at all costs lest someone walk in - the whole thing just weirds me out. I like to use the bathroom in private. HOWEVER, he pointed out such a valid point I forced to concede and now embrace the idea with open arms. The other day he told me he had made approximately $5.00 while pooping at work. WOW! I said. That's amazing! And he was quick to point out that where else on earth can one get paid for pooping?!?! It's the greatest thing ever, and he feels no need to hurry up and get back to his desk, because he is afforded this right to poop at work, and no one will take it away from him damnit! So my position has changed and I say, "Yes! Please, pay me to poop! I can use the time spent in the loo to calculate exactly how much I make a day excreting waste at work!!"
The Office - Episode #2: Cup Debate
So while I'm on the subject of offices I feel I must relate a scene that proves my life is essentially a deleted scene from either the movie Office Space or the show The Office - both of which I love and have always loved, though never fully appreciated until I worked in such an environment.
Case in point -
The other day the "management team" (I don't get paid anywhere near enough to be considered a manager, simply, part of the team) sat down in the conference room for our weekly meeting, meant to be used as a time to catch up about what's going on, make sure everyone is on the same page, voice any concerns etc. One brave soul brought up the never ending discussion/subject of CUPS. So, being the democratically (HA!) run office that we are a discussion ensued as to the use of the cups, why we keep running out so quickly and what can be done about it. See the cups get delivered by our partner company and they are supposed to bring it over to us when they get deliveries, but the problem is we are apparently the red-headed step child and the cups don't get brought over unless someone from our office calls over to get them. Then they disappear like no one has ever seen a cup before. Someone will literally go in, get a drink and then throw their cup away instead of keeping it for the day.
Not wanting this to be a major discussion I raised a point that I thought could be implemented and then we could move on. I said, "I have an idea. How about we buy some plastic cups, some sponges and some dishsoap. That way everyone can have their own cup and be responsible for washing it at the end of the day etc. We have lots of cabinet space, We'll cut costs by not buying paper cups, cut down on our waste, and all around be a more "green" office!" This was met with a good response and I thought the 5 min. problem/suggestion was over. OH NO, IT WASN'T! The conversation on the validity of using plastic cups/forcing people to bring in their own mugs/cups etc VS. the continuation of the paper cups and how to get them over here as we needed them by encouraging people to use only one cup per day. The conversation continued for 20 mins!!!!! I was astounded. I said nothing else. I stared at the blank used-to-be-white walls and silently prayed the fire alarm would go off (for real, not in the fake way it does periodically throughout the day) and we'd all be forced down to the street while our building burnt to the ground. I managed to catch the eye of our box office manager and he had the same expression I had and we both burst into laughter. Not appreciated by the others who were still in the heart of the manner in an earnest discussion. We quieted down trying to stifle giggles and eye rolls, much like I was back in middle school and the meeting continued.
But seriously, doesn't this sound like a lost scene from The Office?!?!
Case in point -
The other day the "management team" (I don't get paid anywhere near enough to be considered a manager, simply, part of the team) sat down in the conference room for our weekly meeting, meant to be used as a time to catch up about what's going on, make sure everyone is on the same page, voice any concerns etc. One brave soul brought up the never ending discussion/subject of CUPS. So, being the democratically (HA!) run office that we are a discussion ensued as to the use of the cups, why we keep running out so quickly and what can be done about it. See the cups get delivered by our partner company and they are supposed to bring it over to us when they get deliveries, but the problem is we are apparently the red-headed step child and the cups don't get brought over unless someone from our office calls over to get them. Then they disappear like no one has ever seen a cup before. Someone will literally go in, get a drink and then throw their cup away instead of keeping it for the day.
Not wanting this to be a major discussion I raised a point that I thought could be implemented and then we could move on. I said, "I have an idea. How about we buy some plastic cups, some sponges and some dishsoap. That way everyone can have their own cup and be responsible for washing it at the end of the day etc. We have lots of cabinet space, We'll cut costs by not buying paper cups, cut down on our waste, and all around be a more "green" office!" This was met with a good response and I thought the 5 min. problem/suggestion was over. OH NO, IT WASN'T! The conversation on the validity of using plastic cups/forcing people to bring in their own mugs/cups etc VS. the continuation of the paper cups and how to get them over here as we needed them by encouraging people to use only one cup per day. The conversation continued for 20 mins!!!!! I was astounded. I said nothing else. I stared at the blank used-to-be-white walls and silently prayed the fire alarm would go off (for real, not in the fake way it does periodically throughout the day) and we'd all be forced down to the street while our building burnt to the ground. I managed to catch the eye of our box office manager and he had the same expression I had and we both burst into laughter. Not appreciated by the others who were still in the heart of the manner in an earnest discussion. We quieted down trying to stifle giggles and eye rolls, much like I was back in middle school and the meeting continued.
But seriously, doesn't this sound like a lost scene from The Office?!?!
The Office - Episode #1: The Arctic Tundra
The person who sits in the cube behind me apparently reigns supreme over the thermostat in my little square of cubes. He assures me he keeps it set at 76 degrees (his clock has a thermometer on it) and that that is perfectly normal, and he never changes it. That would be fine if I didn't think he was LYING. There is no way it is more than like 66 degrees in here. Otherwise if I came in wearing long pants and a long sleeved shirt I would be FINE, but I'm NOT. I often end the day with fingers that are numb and turning a lovely shade of purple. I kid you not, my hands are numb by the end of the day. As it is I've only been in the office for approximately 1.5 hours and I get already feel the goosebumps starting on my upper arms (though today I am in a short sleeved dress, so fie on me for not dressing properly when the temperature OUTside is supposed to be 95!!). The reason I question his ability to keep it set on 76 is the fact that the actual gauge/box thingie is BEHIND his cube wall and you have to reach down behind it to adjust it. HOW DO YOU KNOW ITS SET AT 76?!?!! YOU CAN'T. And I'm turning into a cube of ice because of it. I started bringing a sweater to work, the sad thing is that even with my homeless grandma sweater my fingers are still freezing, what's the next step - gloves?!?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
