Male Dolphins Can Carry Things With Their Penis

So last Gossip Factory (this is the theatre company/collective I am a part of - check us out) meeting we were all brainstorming and coming up with new ideas for our next version of "4f" our show we wrote and performed last fall. WELL, SOMEhow A. mentioned that she heard a story on NPR about a woman who built a house partially submerged in water because she loved Dolphins so much and wanted to be close to them. WELL, apparently she developed a diff. kind of relationship with said dolphin and loved them a little TOO much if you get what I'm saying. An inappropriate relationship some might venture to say, though not everyone apparently.

So I was just doing some research for us to try and find the story so we could adapt it into our new script somehow and THIS is what came up instead (thank you google) - WARNING: may not be safe for work- no photos- just, well, here-

- Essentially it's a "how to" of Dolphin Sex. Some highlights (of course I read it) are below:

You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.

we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious
internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....