Ruminations, Aaron Karo style

Aaron Karo (if you don't know, tell me, and we'll remedy that) asked for submissions so you could ruminate on his up and coming website. Here are my samples. I submitted 3 out of these 4 (had to be 100 words or less):

I saw 2 bearded ladies this past week. I don't think I'd ever seen a bearded lady in the wild before, and here they were wearin' it as if it were the latest trend in fashion. Granted, the first was definitely homeless and there was probably not much she could do about said beard. She had a long goatee and was also sporting a sweet moustache. The other one I saw was seemingly a ‘normal’ tourist. Her's was more of a full-on beard - dark, bushy. I couldn’t decide whether to give her a razor or ask for her number.

I read about a cat in a nursing home that foretells death. I don't know about you, but I'd hate to be living in this nursing home. "Get away from me death cat!!!"
I mean, it doesn't surprise me as animals are the best things in the world and their senses are more in-tune. HOWEVER, I would not want an angel of death cat wandering around as I lay dying. I'd prefer a dog. Cause you know that about an hour after you died that cat will be all up on you trying to eat your face.

I like when co-workers call me while working through something they don’t need me to solve in order to figure out the solution. Somehow I’m connected to said issue and I’m called. I listen as they attempt to fix their problem. They mumble in my ear and I say "uh huh" until they finally reach a conclusion, and say, "Ok. That's better. Thanks Sarah" and I say, "No problem." And I, knowing full well I've done absolutely nothing, hang up the phone with no clue as to what just happened. But hey! Apparently it's fixed! So, uh, well done me!

I'm too nice. While in line for the restroom recently, someone came out and said, "I'm sorry, were you waiting long?" I said something like, "Oh no, just got here, no problem." What I wanted to say was, “I've been waiting 10 minutes for you to finish your epic work poop, thanks a lot, dick! Now I have to pee in a bathroom that smells like the trashcan at taco bell. Oh, and since waiting for you, my bladder has been stretched to immeasurable size. No doubt resulting in my wearing depends at the ripe old age of 32.”

Whelp, I did it.

I sure did. I quit my job. So what? you might think, but you shouldn't, because I've never had to quit an actual job before. What, were you in a convent? Did you live as a prostitute minus the pimp? Have you ever worked a day in your life? And the answers would be No, no, and kind of.
I just mean, that in all my other jobs my reason for leaving was simple - I'm moving! And all of these jobs had the expectation that I would not be staying forever, they always sort of KNEW I'd be moving, and thus, kind of awaited it. That, and the atmospheres of all my former jobs have been MUCH more casual, and MUCH more down to earth than my current "office" situation. Hell, even my real estate job in NYC was easy, mainly because I was an independent contractor and could say, "see ya!" (Though they may still have my license... hmmm. Must look into that.) Anyway, this being a "REAL" job with policies and procedures and not an open feel to it, I had to formally resign, complete with letter of resignation.
Needless to say, I was completely nervous and unsure as how this would go. The whole two days prior I couldn't concentrate and my stomach hurt. Which is weird, because I want to quit. I've wanted nothing better to do that walk out for the past 6 mos., but I stuck it out, and made it work for the time being, and so when the time came around to do the deed, you'd think I'd be more than ready, but truth is, I hate disappointing people. And I knew my boss would be disappointed. And despite the fact that I don't even really like my boss, I STILL felt bad. Ah well, life lesson and all that I suppose. It went fine. He was more than understanding and even quite nice about it. I did the professional "good" thing and painted everything in a positive light, as I am as want to do anyway, and all went fine. I have until October 5th and then I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE of "The Office: Miss Sugah Style" - and then off to the Caribbean for a month and 5 days of paradise! And while I may be cleaning toilets for the next month or so, at least I'll be in an environment that doesn't make me want to find rusty nails on the sidewalk and stick them into my eyes. Huzzah!

George the Puggle

Big news in doggie world - my little puggle buggle is on www.dailypuppy.com today as the featured daily "grown up" puppy.
If you scroll down a little and look on the right you will see him and click on him to see photos and a little paragraph about him.
I frequent daily puppy every single day and thus I am VERY excited to see him on the site!!!
Huge dork? Yes. Obsessed with my dog? Totally and completely.
Ok with all of that? Assuredly so.

Office Query

I like when people call me (people from my place of employment) to work through something they are working on and they don't really need me in order to figure out the answer or solution at all, but I'm somehow connected to said issue and they think I need to know what they are doing or something and thus they call me. So I listen, on the phone, as they fix whatever it is they can, and I say "uh huh" and "mm hmmm" and they mumble and mumble in my ear until they finally reach a conclusion they like, and say, "Ok. Ok. That's better. Thanks Sarah" and I say, "No problem" or "You're welcome." And I, knowing full well I've done absolutely nothing, hang up the phone with no clue as to what just happened. But hey! Apparently it's fixed!

STEELERS

Well, football season is upon us. Count me in as one excited Steeler fan anxious to see where they will head this year!! New coach. New blood. Some great old blood. It's going to be interesting!!!
I had rehearsal last Sunday, so I'll kick off MY start to the season this Sunday, trying to find a bar in Philadelphia that will allow me to wave my terrible towel with pride and not throw things at me in my over-sized, now out-dated, Randel El jersey. (I do have a Bettis jersey, which is probably more appropriate... or better yet, I'll ask my dad if he'll buy me a new jersey, I'm thinking Polamalu.)
Anyway, all of this is very exciting, and then I read THIS.
Turns out Pittsburgh has the biggest base of female fans - how awesome!!!

LET'S GO STEELERS!