So, I have seen 2 bearded ladies in the past week. 2! I don't think I've ever seen a bearded lady in the wild before, and here they were sportin' it as if it were the latest trend in fashion. Granted one of them was definitely homeless and there was probably not much she could do to fix said beard. She sort of had a long goatee and was also sporting a hot moustache. The other one I saw was seemingly a normal pedestrian/tourist woman. Her's was more of a full on kind of beard, dark, but no stache. What the f?! Where was she going in that thing? (I might also point out that she was wearing a fanny pack. GLORIOUS!) The carnival I'm sure...
Anyway, I just had to share because damn.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Love Affair
Things I am totally loving right now:
-Water. I love to drink it, be near it, be on it, be in it, be touching it etc.
-1/2 and 1/2s (half lemonade, half iced tea)
-The Office. Tuna (my roomate) and I were in tears last night. How can a comedy be so good? How can a comedy make you feel for the characters so much? I swear my heart stopped beating while watching the show last night (first time I had watched Jim tells Pam he loves her episode) which ties into the fact that I wish far too hard that life was really like tv/movies. I mean, who doesn't right? But I seriously need to NOT let myself think that stuff like that happens in real life... sigh... if only. I'm a dreamer, what can I say, def. not a realist here. I guess I just miss that whole feeling of, he likes me, doesn't he? No, he can't. The not knowing, and the "up in the airness" so much that it actually hurts because you have a crush on someone and the possibility of him liking you back etc. The whole high school feelings... I mean, I'm happy with life now, don't get me wrong, but part of me really enjoyed all of the uncertainty- it was fun, and exciting. The not knowing, the guessing, the hoping, the roller coaster of feelings. I love that.
-Strawberries and fruit in general
-Olives
-Summer
-1/2 days at work
-Getting some sun on my otherwise pale body!
-Preparing to spend a month in St. John's!!! Got to get that tan now so I don't burn to a crisp down in El Caribe!
-Wine
-My puppy, my little lovebug George.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Finding Your Way Off Stage
I may have to murder my acting partner. It's at the point of the show now that it's kind of just ridiculous if you don't A. know your lines B. know when to exit the stage/come back on 3. know what scene comes next. D. listen to or do anything the director originally told you to do.
I am so beyond frustrated. It's anger inducing, and I don't even get angry!!! And when he says, "chill out, you're being a perfectionist" I want to strangle him because I'm not trying to get it perfect, I'm trying perform the play that we were given- I'm just trying to get through the damn thing so kids understand your ramblings. It's not improv. If it were, that'd be fine. But it's not. And it's not a matter of being perfect, it's a matter of performing a play that looks remotely like the one given. It's knowing what's going on in the scene so that IF you DO mess up a line or forget one you can give one that sounds remotely like the one you were supposed to say. OR being conscience enough to know what happens next so you can make it up. Not repeating yourself. Not going back and adding the line later because you're so sure that you need to get your all important line of "what does this mean?" out which has no real necessity to the plot once I've already saved your ass!
I have no trust or faith in my partner. And seeing as how there is only two people in the show- that really sucks. And I really hate not being able to trust my partner. What if I forget a line?!?! Dear lord, the whole show goes to shit. So there is really no room for error.
However, now that I've bitched, I must focus on the good. I MUST!
This should be my new mantra:
The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it.
OR
This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it. This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it. This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it. This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it.
It's going to be a long summer.
I am so beyond frustrated. It's anger inducing, and I don't even get angry!!! And when he says, "chill out, you're being a perfectionist" I want to strangle him because I'm not trying to get it perfect, I'm trying perform the play that we were given- I'm just trying to get through the damn thing so kids understand your ramblings. It's not improv. If it were, that'd be fine. But it's not. And it's not a matter of being perfect, it's a matter of performing a play that looks remotely like the one given. It's knowing what's going on in the scene so that IF you DO mess up a line or forget one you can give one that sounds remotely like the one you were supposed to say. OR being conscience enough to know what happens next so you can make it up. Not repeating yourself. Not going back and adding the line later because you're so sure that you need to get your all important line of "what does this mean?" out which has no real necessity to the plot once I've already saved your ass!
I have no trust or faith in my partner. And seeing as how there is only two people in the show- that really sucks. And I really hate not being able to trust my partner. What if I forget a line?!?! Dear lord, the whole show goes to shit. So there is really no room for error.
However, now that I've bitched, I must focus on the good. I MUST!
This should be my new mantra:
The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it. The important thing is that the kids still like it.
OR
This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it. This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it. This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it. This experience is improving your skills as an actress. You will only get better because of it.
It's going to be a long summer.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Parents Today
The news is FILLED with crazy parents today.
1. A mom in Tennessee was fed up with her teenage daughter's bad behaviour and felt she had tried everything to get her to change a bit. A. The girl is 13- she's obviously going to act up, but still this I thought, was brilliant. Say what you want about how TERRIBLE it is for the girl and blah blah blah, but it's not like she's hitting her or tearing her down. It'll teach the girl a little humility, and I like it. Kids are baby-ed WAY too much these days being told they are "special" and "can do no wrong" ANYWAY. The mom made her daughter stand outside with a sign that said, ""I don't obey my parents, I'm a liar. I steal from my mom. I have a bad attitude." And while I think she could have written "I lied" instead of "I'm a liar." - I hate to pigeon hole, I think it's brilliant. Apparently she's also making the girl wear it to church on Tuesday as a punishment. ha!!!
2. This was actually in the news yesterday, and I heard it on the radio. A couple from New Zealand decided they wanted to have an unconventional name for their impending child and thus decided to use the happiest moment of their lives (apparently it was their reaction when they first saw the baby on the sonogram) to name the child, "4real". No, I'm not kidding, they didn't even want to try and make it "Fahreal" or "Forreal" they wanted to put a fucking number in the poor bebe's name!!! WHO DOES THAT?!?!? Thass soooo crazy I don't even know where to begin. We have enough Lemon-jellos and Toshibas (no offense to those named that, I just feel bad for you and your parents should be shot) in this world without adding numbers to names!!! Thankfully the New Zealand court system would not allow the couple to make the baby's official name "4real" on the grounds that names should not have any numerals in them. So officially that won't be her name, I just fear that this little girl will actually go by "4real" until she turns 16, realizes what a terrible name she has and go on a murdering rampage wherein she stabs her parents 4 times each screaming, "THERE'S 4 FOR YOU!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THE NUMBER NOW?!!?!"
3. Lastly a baby girl in London was given 25 nicknames all of them names of famous boxers. Her first name is Autumn, which is already bad enough. I think the only seasonal name I like is Summer. Autumn is my favorite season, but I would never deem to name my child that. Jeez-oo. The girl's full name is Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown. Apparently the mom is hoping she'll have a "sense of humor about it" - and while this isn't near as bad as naming your child 4real, and actually kind of a cool in an off the wall way, I still think these parents are setting their children up for a life of torment.
1. A mom in Tennessee was fed up with her teenage daughter's bad behaviour and felt she had tried everything to get her to change a bit. A. The girl is 13- she's obviously going to act up, but still this I thought, was brilliant. Say what you want about how TERRIBLE it is for the girl and blah blah blah, but it's not like she's hitting her or tearing her down. It'll teach the girl a little humility, and I like it. Kids are baby-ed WAY too much these days being told they are "special" and "can do no wrong" ANYWAY. The mom made her daughter stand outside with a sign that said, ""I don't obey my parents, I'm a liar. I steal from my mom. I have a bad attitude." And while I think she could have written "I lied" instead of "I'm a liar." - I hate to pigeon hole, I think it's brilliant. Apparently she's also making the girl wear it to church on Tuesday as a punishment. ha!!!
2. This was actually in the news yesterday, and I heard it on the radio. A couple from New Zealand decided they wanted to have an unconventional name for their impending child and thus decided to use the happiest moment of their lives (apparently it was their reaction when they first saw the baby on the sonogram) to name the child, "4real". No, I'm not kidding, they didn't even want to try and make it "Fahreal" or "Forreal" they wanted to put a fucking number in the poor bebe's name!!! WHO DOES THAT?!?!? Thass soooo crazy I don't even know where to begin. We have enough Lemon-jellos and Toshibas (no offense to those named that, I just feel bad for you and your parents should be shot) in this world without adding numbers to names!!! Thankfully the New Zealand court system would not allow the couple to make the baby's official name "4real" on the grounds that names should not have any numerals in them. So officially that won't be her name, I just fear that this little girl will actually go by "4real" until she turns 16, realizes what a terrible name she has and go on a murdering rampage wherein she stabs her parents 4 times each screaming, "THERE'S 4 FOR YOU!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THE NUMBER NOW?!!?!"
3. Lastly a baby girl in London was given 25 nicknames all of them names of famous boxers. Her first name is Autumn, which is already bad enough. I think the only seasonal name I like is Summer. Autumn is my favorite season, but I would never deem to name my child that. Jeez-oo. The girl's full name is Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown. Apparently the mom is hoping she'll have a "sense of humor about it" - and while this isn't near as bad as naming your child 4real, and actually kind of a cool in an off the wall way, I still think these parents are setting their children up for a life of torment.
The Office - Episode #3 - Bathroom Etiquette Guest Starring Ivana VonVana
And now, a guest spot, which will be going to my good friend Ivana (names are changed to protect my friends from mass murderers scanning the internet for easy targets) :
*names have been changed to protect the unhygenic.
I must also add my own two cents about a phenomena my best friend A. and I like to call, "the work poop." I, being raised a lady and taught not to discuss bodily functions once past the age of five, initially balked at this idea as the whole thing seems incredibly awkward and I try to avoid doing #2 at work at all costs lest someone walk in - the whole thing just weirds me out. I like to use the bathroom in private. HOWEVER, he pointed out such a valid point I forced to concede and now embrace the idea with open arms. The other day he told me he had made approximately $5.00 while pooping at work. WOW! I said. That's amazing! And he was quick to point out that where else on earth can one get paid for pooping?!?! It's the greatest thing ever, and he feels no need to hurry up and get back to his desk, because he is afforded this right to poop at work, and no one will take it away from him damnit! So my position has changed and I say, "Yes! Please, pay me to poop! I can use the time spent in the loo to calculate exactly how much I make a day excreting waste at work!!"
Miss Sugah, please write a blog re: office bathroom ettiquite.
for example, why is it that everytime i open a stall, there is approx 1 gallon of urine on the seat? this is NOT, contrary to popular belief, a texaco station. there is absolutely no reason a woman should walk in there and start peeing on everything. you work in this establishment and being that you are here for 8+ hours, I'd venture to guess you will frequent that same stall you desecrated at least one more time today. perhaps it is comforting to return and see your urine mixed in with those of your co-workers? the kind of thing upper management would call a team-building experience, no?
also... you had better believe i SEE you walk out of the stall and not wash your hands, Sue*. oh, and i also see you reach your urine-soaked fingers into the m&m bowl during Sally's* make-your-own-ice-cream-sundae birthday celebration in the conference room. that is NOT team-building. that is team germ-spreading.
I must also add my own two cents about a phenomena my best friend A. and I like to call, "the work poop." I, being raised a lady and taught not to discuss bodily functions once past the age of five, initially balked at this idea as the whole thing seems incredibly awkward and I try to avoid doing #2 at work at all costs lest someone walk in - the whole thing just weirds me out. I like to use the bathroom in private. HOWEVER, he pointed out such a valid point I forced to concede and now embrace the idea with open arms. The other day he told me he had made approximately $5.00 while pooping at work. WOW! I said. That's amazing! And he was quick to point out that where else on earth can one get paid for pooping?!?! It's the greatest thing ever, and he feels no need to hurry up and get back to his desk, because he is afforded this right to poop at work, and no one will take it away from him damnit! So my position has changed and I say, "Yes! Please, pay me to poop! I can use the time spent in the loo to calculate exactly how much I make a day excreting waste at work!!"
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